Dear Nina,
I know things between us ended badly. I know that boys, egos, and drugs all played a part. I know that we were both wrong, just as we were both right; the degree of either doesn't really matter much to me anymore.
Losing your friendship was one of the most painful experiences of my adult life. I think about you often, and I can't make your memory go away, just as I can't make my heart ache any less over you.
So many times I've thought that I would follow the NYU procedures for tracking down a lost classmate. But I'm terrified of your rejection, just as I'm terrified by the idea that you are no longer alive to reject me.
I love you.
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4 comments:
Sorry all, I know this was depressing.
I was having a sad, missing friends moment and wanted to put some of that agony into words. It did help me work through some of that temporal pain.
Sometimes, I feel like our unresolved issues will cast a shadow over every relationship I ever have with someone else.
You've told me about her, but I didn't know how much it hurt.
So often, I wish I could just talk to you. I wish I had you to listen to me. You were the best listener, and the only one who ever really 'got' me.
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